Ted (2012)

This story is about a Christmas wish that comes true.

It all began at Christmas, 1985, in a small town outside of Boston. John Bennet (Mark Wahlberg) was a lonely 8 yr. old little boy with no friends, he had no siblings and no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t fit-in with other kids, not even the neighborhood sissy. But then came Christmas morning and John opened the BEST gift ever: a great big fluffy stuffed bear! His eyes lit up as he hugged the bear and it spoke to him, “I LOVE YOU!”, he was overwhelmed with joy and named the bear, Teddy. Suddenly, John had his very own friend and he spent the rest of the day playing and sharing secrets with Teddy. Later that night, right before falling to sleep, John made a very special Christmas wish to his new friend.

“Ya know, I wish you could REALLY talk to me! Because then, we could be best friends for ever and ever!”

The next morning John woke alone in his bed and began searching for the lost bear. All of the sudden, standing on his own two feet with both arms stretched out, “HUG ME!... You’re my best friend John!” It was Teddy and he just shocked the shyt out of little John! “Did you – Did you just talk?” John asked. In a cute little kid voice, Teddy replied “Don’t look so surprised, you’re the one who wished for it, aren’t you?” There he was having his first real conversation with a stuffed Teddy-Bear… Well as you can imagine, this made John the happiest little kid in the whole world and he couldn’t wait to spread the news. He ran down to tell his mom and dad and they both totally freaked out, but Teddy quickly won them over; soon everyone knew about Teddy the talking bear. He was in the newspapers and all over the TV and even had a sit-down with Ed McMahon on the Jonny Carson Show. Yup, Teddy was an instant sensation but above all else, he was John’s Best Friend!

That was 27 years ago… And although John is all grown up now with a job and a live-in girlfriend, Lori Collins (Mila Kunis), he still prefers to spend most of his time hanging out with Ted, but then again, who wouldn’t? I mean, he’s a party animal, what could be more fun than kicking back getting drunk or hitting the bong with your childhood Teddy Bear? HA! None the less, John and Lori have been together for 4 years, and although it’s been great, she thinks it could be a whole lot better if Ted moves out. Well, considering their situation and the fact that even after 4 years, John still isn’t ready for marriage; it seems like a fair compromise to keep her happy. So John helps Ted get a job and his own apartment, from there Ted finds his own girlfriend, Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), she’s really into that fluffy bear thing. (hehe) At any rate, although he and John continued to hang tight every day, everything else seemed to be going much better. Until, that is, the guys decided to get the girls together for a nice dinner. Lori, in a pinch, explained that “… Ted’s very handsome, so I’m always interested in meeting the lady that can snatch him up.” Oh man, Tami took offense and being the beautiful dumb blonde that she is, immediately replied “Did you just call me a whore?... You just worry about your own snatch! How bout that, honey!...” Now as you can imagine, that didn’t go over very well and Lori’s fed-up because she needs a real man! So while Ted quickly escorted Tami away, John was left promising to get his shyt together; “You’re right… I been bumming around with Ted too much, I know that… You give me one more chance, I promise I can fix it.” Well, he got his chance, and while at a big corporate party at Lori’s boss’s house, John blew it by ditching her there to join a party over at Ted’s house. John lost track of time while partying with Ted and their childhood hero, Flash Gordon (Sam J Jones). Big mistake! Now Lori’s done and gone and ready to move on.

But in the end, this forever friendship withstands the test of time as Ted promises to back off and leave John alone; he convinces Lori to give John one more last chance. And then as fate would have it, Ted found himself in a whole lot of trouble with a spoiled rotten brat that had sights set on having his own talking Teddy-Bear and a crazy father that promised to give him the only one around.